A young mother was shown on a tv program as delivering her 3-week old baby to daycare; then she went to work. On this program, which I watched only a few years ago, this young woman and a few of her friends were reported as claiming that they were successfully combining their careers with their family responsibilities.
As caring as childcare workers are, could they compensate for the baby not receiving the scent of the mother’s body during the day, and the extra stimulation generally available from mothers?
In my retirement district, a low-employment area with lots of young families, one sees young mothers and little children in public spaces, including our friendly community library. Watching the little ones point and ask questions, or telling their mothers about something obviously important, is a joy to those of us who were brought up by our mothers, and who also appreciate the learning which is taking place.
Childcare, of course, adds to this learning – socialisation, skill in manipulating toys and other materials, co-operation, and a certain self-sufficiency; however, could there be an intuitive awareness at times in a child of an unmet need for parental love?
Of course, grandma can be an effective substitute for a mother, as has happened within my extended family. But, a mother who is absent from 8am to past 6pm does result in some expressed unhappiness or concealed subliminal anger, as I have observed. Extended childcare has indeed been shown in a study to result in angry unco-operative children; why would that be surprising?
Little children missing their fathers – for one reason or another – are sad to observe as they reach out to other men.
Has the significant subjugation of children’s needs to adult wants in developed nations in modern times led to the societal alienation of some youngsters, and thus to broken families, and possibly to anti-social behaviour? Could this then lead to aggressive behaviour in adulthood, fuelled by a latent anger, the source of which would not be identifiable by the aggressor? The ‘one-punch’ men who seek someone to beat up with one ‘king hit’; those who, in a gang, attach innocent passers-by; violent young women; men who physically injure young children belonging their partners or behave with violence towards their wives; are many of such behaviours explainable in terms of unintended childhood alienation? That is, through some parents not realising the psychological needs of their own children?.
RAJA ARASA RATNAM 