Politically incorrect British humour

Muslims have gone on the rampage in Birmingham killing anyone who’s English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
——————————————————–
Years ago it was suggested that, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works great!
——————————————————–
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque…They’ve told the public not to panic as they’ve managed to push it inside.
(Dear, oh, dear!)

Advertisements

British Humour? (1)

British humour as it used to be, absolutely politically incorrect:

It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds from running.

——————————————————–
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

——————————————————–
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements

Business quotations – Retirement and old age

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money. (Anon.)

There is no such thing as ‘on the way out’. As long as you are still doing something interesting and good, you are in business because you’re still breathing. (Louis Armstrong)

‘You are old, Father William,’ the young man said,
And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head –
Do you think at your age, it is right? (Lewis Carroll)

Humorous quotations – America and Americans

America is a model of force and freedom and moderation – with all its coarseness and rudeness of its people.  (Lord Byron)

In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is.  That is what makes America what it is.  (Gertrude Stein)

Every American woman has two souls to call her own, the other being her husband’s.  (James Agate)

 

Business Quotations – Advertising

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. (Stephen leacock)

I think I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I’ll never see a tree at all. (Ogden Nash)

Blurbs that appear on the back cover and in the advertisements recommending the book in glowing terms … are written by friends of the author who haven’t read the book but owe the poor guy a favour. (Art Buchwald)

The value of history

The examination of events which had occurred in the past, or are believed to have occurred, in (say) 5-year rolling cycles (a useful statistical approach) can, I believe, provide a more meaningful vista than a parade of individual events. To be adequately explanatory, one would also need to understand motivations.

That is, what were the triggers? A unilateral initiative or a reaction? The personal ambition of a leader? A tribal thrust reflecting historical memories, including rancour at past injustices? Tribo-religious greed for land, souls, and other resources? Expectations of gain? National stupidity? The economic forces at play? Or the imperatives of suvival?

A broader issue relates to leadership, whether in an offensive or defensive mode. Does a great leader arise from the prevailing circumstances or does a leader-in-the-making create the circumstances he or she needs? I am reminded of 2 female leaders in recent times – Mrs. Golda Meir of Israel and Mrs. Sirimavo Bandaranaike of Sri Lanka. Then there were Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin. I believe that these ambitious leaders surfaced only because the flow of the political current was propitious. Ditto Adolf Hitler.

On the contrary, while I received a sound education under the colonial British in Malaya, my study of history was partly wasted on what I thought of as ducks and drakes. The ducks were the dukes, earls, et al of Britain. The drakes referred to were notables in Europe, eg. Charlemange, Loyala, and others.

It was only when, after the end of WW2, I read Harold Lasky and others of like mind, that I realised that taught history was totally irrelevant for an adequate understanding of humanity-on-the-hoof. Sundry tribes had been rushing here and there all over the world, including Europe; and tribal and (later) national boundaries were shifted freely.

Official history, or only some prevailing historical presentations, seem Eurocentric – and some of it truly foolish. For example, that the Greek (not Macedonian) Alexander the Great had conquered India. The Encyclopaedia Britannica had Hindu Indians praying to a range of gods, but there was no mention that these gods were only manifestations of the one and only Creator of mankind.

Then there was Muller who apparently could not accept that Hinduism is older than Judaism. There are others who cannot accept that learned Athenians and their philosophers may have learnt from Egyptians and Persians, whose civilisations also go back a long way.

In contrast, I found a series of books on history by Cambridge University about the origins of cultures all over the globe most educational.

We do need to know the long-term trends of significant events which have occurred over long periods of time, their motivations, and their consequences. I found Nehru’s ‘Glimpses of world history,’ which provide brief outlines (and their significance) of major trends throughout recorded history; Jacques Barzun’s ‘From Dawn to Decadence – 1500 to the present’; Martin Bernal’s ‘Black Athena: The Afroasiatic roots of classical civilisation’; Georg Feuerstein, Subhash Kak & David Frawley’s ‘In search of the cradle of civilisation’; Allan& Delair’s ‘Cataclysm: compelling evidence of a cosmic catastrophe in 9500 BC’; Stephen Oppenheimer’s ‘Out of Eden: the peopling of the world’; and sundry other authors of relevance, to be illuminating.

Since the past is embedded in the present, we do need to know how we were shaped. When in doubt, let us keep our minds open.