~ WH Auden
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
~ Johnny Carson
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
~ Warren Tantum (School photo album).
I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very sceptical.
~ Jimmy Durante
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
– George Roberts
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ Jonathan Winters
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.
I like lateral thinkers. By that I mean – thinking while lying down. When on your own, you are quite safe, no?