Some silly puns

When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.

here do you find chili beans? At the North Pole.

At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, “Are you two an item?”

They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.

Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?

Did you hear about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

Comment: A little light relief

Advertisement

A history of the world in funny puns

“For many of us, it’s a punderful life (pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings) and here we present a history of the world in puns.

So here goes. Once a pun a time . . . it all started with THE BIG BANG, a theory which describes how the Universe began in a rapid expansion about 13.7 billion years ago. It is thought that all of space was created in this first moment. Expert and scientist Stephen Hawking (and who can put down his book about anti-gravity?) has even appeared in a cameo for American sitcom The Big Bang Theory. Here are some space puns:

• How does the Solar System hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt
• What kinds of music do planets sing? Neptunes
• An astronaut broke the law of gravity and earned a suspended sentence
• That was a poor joke about infinity – it didn’t have an ending”

Gallery compiled by Martin Chilton
From ‘The Telegraph’ 23 Sept. 2015 (on the Internet)

Whimsical or silly?

A play on words
• If he had to , he could master braille once he got the feel of it
• Create immortal frogs by removing their vocal chords; they then can’t croak
• Cartoonists found dead at home; details sketchy
• Corduroy pillows make headlines
• Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
• He was hit on the head with a can of soft drink; but it was soft drink
• Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

No comment. Someone sent me these.