Quotations – Holidays and leisure

Holidays are over-rated disturbances of routine, costly and uncomfortable, and they usually need another holiday to correct their ravages. (E.V. Lucas)

I must confess that I am interested in leisure in the same way that a poor man is interested in money. (Prince Philip)

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilisation. (Bertrand Russell)

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Humorous quotations – Medicine

There could never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always in the right. (George Bernard Shaw)

The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals. (William Osler)

He said my bronchial tubes were entrancing,
My epiglottis filled him with glee,
He simply loved my larynx
And went wild about my pharynx,
But he never said he loved me. (Cole Porter)

Business quotations – Law

Riches without law are more dangerous than is poverty without law. (Henry Ward Beecher)

We do not get good laws to restrain bad people. We get good people to restrain bad laws. (Chesterton)

The law of England is a very strange one; it cannot compel anyone to tell the truth … But what the Law can do is to give you seven years for not telling the truth. (Charles John Darling)

Politically incorrect British humour

Muslims have gone on the rampage in Birmingham killing anyone who’s English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
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Years ago it was suggested that, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works great!
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Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque…They’ve told the public not to panic as they’ve managed to push it inside.
(Dear, oh, dear!)

British Humour? (1)

British humour as it used to be, absolutely politically incorrect:

It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds from running.

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Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

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Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements

Business quotations – Retirement and old age

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money. (Anon.)

There is no such thing as ‘on the way out’. As long as you are still doing something interesting and good, you are in business because you’re still breathing. (Louis Armstrong)

‘You are old, Father William,’ the young man said,
And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head –
Do you think at your age, it is right? (Lewis Carroll)