More humorous quotations – Sex

Sex is something I really don’t understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then break them right away.
(J.D. Salinger ‘The catcher in the rye’)

Nobody here (in England) talks about anything at all except buggary; it’s too extraordinary. Half the public wants it officially recognised and the other half wants burning alive, quartering, etc. etc. to be restored as the normal penalty.
(Nancy Mitford, letter)

Gomer Owen who kissed her once by the pig-sty when she wasn’t looking and never kissed her again although she was looking all the time.
(Dylan Thomas ‘Under Milk Wood’)