- Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time. —Norman Ford
- Never trust a man when he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. —Shirley Maclaine
- Never board a commercial aircraft if the pilot is wearing a tank top. —Dave Barry
- Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. You may need this person to finish a sentence. —Erma Bombeck
- Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information. —Bob Elliott and Ray Goulding
- Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level; it’s cheaper. —Quentin Crisp
(From the Internet)