Paraprosdokians (3)


.     .I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.


  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


  • I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.


  • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.


  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.


  • If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?


  • Money is the root of all wealth.


  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery