Paraprosdokians (1)

Paraprosdokians: a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and often humorous.




  • If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.


  • I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.


  • A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.


  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


  • I’m great at multi-tasking–I  can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.


  • If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.


  • Take my advice — I’m not using it.