- Law of the Theaters and Sports Arenas
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
- The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
- Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
- Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.
- Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
- Law of Public Speaking
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
- Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
- Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.