Doctor jokes

A man called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry, we can’t fit you in for 2 weeks” the receptionist said. “But I could be dead by then!” the man said. “Not a problem. Your wife can let us know and then we’ll cancel your appointment.”

Shared by The Joker

 

A man who hasn’t been feeling well goes to his doctor for a check-up. The doctor comes out with the results and says…
“I have some very bad news for you. You’re dying and don’t have much time left.”
“Oh my God! How long have I got?”
“Ten.”
“Ten what? Months? Weeks?”
“Nine…”

Shared by The Joker

 

What is black, 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A stethoscope

Shared by Argo
edited by MC Hacker

 

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
“What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor responds “you’re not eating properly.”

Shared by NumeroOcho

 

A 7-year old girl told her mother “a boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Uh oh,” the mother nervously sighed. “What did you say, honey?”
“Nothing. He made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”

Shared by NumeroOcho

 

What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have and the other thinks you have what he treats.

Shared by NumeroOcho

 

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