Modern philosophers – Part 1

~ John Glenn
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket
was supplied by the lowest bidder.

~ Desmond Tutu
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land.
They said ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes.
When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

~ David Letterman
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes
that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

~ Howard Hughes
I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I’m a billionaire.

~ Jeff Foxworthy
You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t

~ Old Italian proverb
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

~ Betsy Salkind
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

~ Jean Kerr
The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.

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When my mind becomes tired thinking about what I am thinking about, I find it interesting to find out about what others have been thinking about.